COOS COUNTY, OR – Parents are being warned to inspect their children’s Halloween candy after a local mother discovered a STIHL 066 Magnum chainsaw with a 32-inch bar stuffed inside a fun-size Snickers.

The saw was still idling.

The woman became suspicious when her daughter’s candy bag started smoking, leaked bar oil across the kitchen floor, and chased the family cat under the couch.

Her husband heard the commotion from the garage.

“That’s a Stihl,” he announced before entering the kitchen. “Old 066 Magnum. You can tell by the idle. Anything else would’ve died three hours ago.”

He listened a little closer.

“Sounds like a ’97. Damn good year. Idle’s set a touch high, though.”

The mother was furious. Her husband was impressed.

“Whoever put that in there knows how to take care of a saw. Hell, it’s been running since six o’clock.”

Authorities are baffled by how someone managed to stuff a professional falling saw into a two-inch candy bar, although investigators believe the suspect may have used a shoehorn.

Parents are reminded to watch for razor blades, suspicious substances, and large pieces of logging equipment concealed in chocolate.

If your child’s Snickers smells like two-stroke mix, weighs 20 pounds, or needs a new chain, DO NOT LET THEM EAT IT.

Disclaimer: This is Coostucky Chronicle satire. Nobody found a chainsaw in their Halloween candy. At least nobody has reported one.

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