MITCH APPARENTLY MISSES OREGON
WASHINGTON — We may have a problem. A few days ago, The Coostucky Chronicle published a completely fabricated investigation into Mitch McConnell’s mysterious disappearance, including
Oregon May Replace State Bird After Commissioners Keep Flipping It
SALEM — Oregon is reportedly considering replacing the western meadowlark after county commissioners began demonstrating a far more recognizable bird. Washington County Chair Kathryn Harrington
MYSTERY SOLVED: MITCH McCONNELL APPARENTLY GOT LOST IN OREGON
A few days ago, a pile of leaves near one of the old Oregon Country Fair parking fields started moving. Then coughing. Then swearing. Then
Powers Finally Draws the Line With the Homeless Tweakers: Clean Ones
Powers has apparently decided the homeless problem has gone too far. Not because of the meth. Not because of the camps. Not because of the
BREAKING: EMERGENCY SQUIRREL EXTRACTION UNDERWAY IN BROWNSVILLE
BROWNSVILLE, OREGON — Our neighbors to the north appear to have officially lost their nuts. Witnesses at Pioneer Park say two women were seen baiting
COOS BAY AREA ADMIN PROMOTES HIMSELF TO GENERAL MacFACEBOOK
COOS BAY — Apparently running a local Facebook page from Portland wasn’t enough. Now we’ve got Emergency Community Response alerts, requested protester numbers, counter-protest mobilization,
SHORE ACRES TO HOST THREE NIGHTS OF STARING INTO SPACE UNTIL SOMEBODY EATS ALL THE DORITOS
COOS BAY — Oregon State Parks has somehow turned standing around in the dark talking about aliens into a three-day festival, which means the Oregon
McKay’s Faces New Competition: Free
McKay’s has survived Walmart, Safeway, inflation, power bills, and whatever the hell happened to the price of hamburger. Now comes the toughest competitor yet: the
SLATER’S SHERIFF POST: GOOD QUESTIONS, BAD HOMEWORK
Adam Slater says nobody asked for his opinion on the sheriff race. That did not stop him from dropping a full Facebook prosecution of John
The Forgotten Cheese Mines Beneath Bandon
You’ve heard the expression… “Well, back to the cheese mines.” Probably never gave much thought to where it came from. Most people haven’t. But long