REEDSPORT, OR – Somebody’s been showing the local wildlife old Clint Eastwood movies, because a Reedsport bear apparently watched Every Which Way But Loose and decided to take over for Clyde, the beer-drinking, car-dismantling orangutan.

“Strip the Caddy, Clyde!”

And the son of a bitch stripped it.

Granted, Clyde was an orangutan, not a bear, but apparently the Reedsport wildlife department isn’t particularly concerned with historical accuracy.

We’re not talking about a broken window and a missing bag of Doritos. This bear went through the vehicle like a disgruntled upholstery salesman on his last day of work. He even left one door handle, presumably because he figured the owner might want to get back inside and see what he’d accomplished.

Naturally, Facebook’s finest investigators arrived on the scene. One suggested locking the doors. They were locked. Another wanted the bear apprehended, although nobody explained who’s supposed to wrestle him into the back of a patrol car.

Others began discussing insurance, which should make for an interesting phone call.

“Was the vehicle involved in a collision?”

“No, a bear ate the interior.”

“Was the bear insured?”

At this point, the only thing missing is Clint Eastwood standing on View Street yelling, “Right turn, Clyde!”

Unfortunately, Clyde appears to have skipped that part of the movie and gone straight into auto body work.

Disclaimer: The reported vehicle damage is real according to the owner’s Facebook post. The Clint Eastwood connection is satire. The bear’s whereabouts and movie preferences remain unknown.

Follow the Coostucky Chronicle for more South Coast news, where apparently even the wildlife has developed an interest in property crime.