Uncle Gabe Running for Four More Years of Being Proud of Everybody
COOS COUNTY, OR – Sheriff Gabe Fabrizio’s reelection campaign is underway, and apparently somebody told him the best way to win votes is to act
KOTEK ANNOUNCES HALLOWEEN CANDY TAX AFTER DISCOVERING KIDS ARE GETTING FREE SHIT
SALEM, OR — Governor Tina Kotek has reportedly discovered Oregon children are wandering neighborhoods collecting free candy without paying a goddamn dime in taxes. Naturally,
SKEETER JOHNSON FOR PRESIDENT! A WORKING MAN FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK
COOS COUNTY, OR – Brothers, sisters, and whoever’s been living behind the Dollar General, it’s time for change! Skeeter “Three Tooth” Johnson is running for
SOUTHWEST OREGON COUPLE STUNS SHARK TANK WITH REVOLUTIONARY HEALTH PRODUCT
LOS ANGELES, CA – Two scruffy-looking Southwest Oregon entrepreneurs reportedly appeared on Shark Tank pitching a revolutionary energy and weight-loss supplement. When the couple said
COOS BAY TO STRAP SPACEX ROCKETS TO FREIGHT TRAINS, SPEND LEFTOVER $205 MILLION ON COOS GOOSE EXPRESS
COOS BAY, OR — Uncle Sam just awarded nearly $205 million to improve the Coos Bay railroad for a proposed international shipping terminal on the
ROGUE WEATHER EXPERT NOW READING MINDS, BIGFOOT STILL AT LARGE
OREGON – Greg Roberts of RogueWeather has apparently added political mind reading to his never-ending list of talents. Weather forecasting, firefighting, fishing, wolves, wildlife management,
LOCAL DEPUTY BUYS COFFEE, FACEBOOK DECLARES HOSTAGE SITUATION
OREGON: There was a time when people saw a cop parked outside a business and figured he was either working, eating, or taking a piss.
Local Woman, 43, Looks 80, Still Convinced She’s the Life of the Party
COOS COUNTY, OR – A local woman caused a scene Saturday night after revealing she was only 43, prompting the bartender to check her ID,
COOS COUNTY CAN’T CONTROL FERAL DOGS OR FERAL HUMANS
COOS BAY, OR – Four black German Shepherds have reportedly been running loose along East Bay Drive for weeks, chasing deer, threatening livestock, and raising
GEN X RAISED HELL. GEN Z NEEDS A RIDE.
There was a time when boys grew up riding in the back of pickups, drinking from garden hoses, and getting their first Copenhagen buzz behind