Powers has apparently decided the homeless problem has gone too far. Not because of the meth. Not because of the camps. Not because of the garbage.

Somebody wants to let them shower.

Yep. Talk of a mobile shower setup once a month has people carrying on like Bicentennial Park is about to become the Powers Meth & Spa Resort.

Because God forbid the guy living in the brush gets his ass washed. Apparently filthy is acceptable. Filthy is familiar. Filthy blends in.

But send him back into town smelling like shampoo and Irish Spring and suddenly we’ve got ourselves a public emergency.

And then comes the fear that showers will attract more homeless people.

Sure. Somewhere outside Eugene there’s a tweaker loading up a tarp and three extension cords right now:

“Get in, Randy. Powers has showers.”

Powers has put up with plenty of weird shit over the years, but apparently this is where the hillbillies finally pound their fist on the table.

Meth? Whatever. Sleeping in the brush? Carry on.

But nobody better come strolling out of Bicentennial Park clean enough to attend a job interview.

Disclaimer: Satire and parody. No tweakers were scrubbed in the making of this article.

Follow Coostucky Chronicle. Somebody has to keep an eye on Powers.